Autumn Nervousness

It would appear that Fall has arrived. The Autumnal Equinox occurred at precisely 4:51am on 09/23. Of course, I really don't know what that means. I thought an Equinox was a car made by a currently striking American automaker. Well, my friend Joe, who is a meteorologist, explained that the Autumnal Equinox "is one of two times of the year when the sun crosses the equator, and the day and night are of approximately equal length." OK, that is cool. It is also cool outside! This morning when I went to work we had already hit our high of 75 degrees. By the time I came home from class tonight it was 59 and falling. Regardless of the temperature and the shortness of the day, I love Fall. I do. It is my favorite season hands down. I like the crisp air, the soft ground, and the bright color of the trees. With Fall I'm reminded that it is time for nature to take a long winter nap, and begin the renewal process.
Perhaps it is time for my own renewal process. Perhaps it is time for me to begin healing.

Tomorrow, I begin my journey. I will undergo testing so that my pulmonologist can figure out how best to treat this disease that is making it difficult for me to breathe. Tomorrow is the chest CT scan, and the echo cardiogram. I won't have the results back for a couple of weeks when I meet with my doctor again. It is going to be a long day, and not very enjoyable, but I will be a cooperative patient; as always. I'm a little nervous although I have been through this all before. The processes are all too familiar. I know what pain to expect. I know that when I'm finished, I will feel like I have been through a fight. I know that I will also feel relief. Relieved that this step is over, that I can look ahead to the next step, and that I can hope for the future.