100 Pounds of Emotions

My doctor says that I need to watch my weight, watch my diet, and exercise more. I can do that. I will watch my weight creep ever higher, watch my diet enter my mouth, and then the chewing and swallowing action should qualify as exercise, right? Just kidding. Actually, he said that I need to lose a "considerable" amount of weight. Why is it that doctors can't just come out and tell you how much weight they want you to lose? Its like they are trying to protect your feelings. I know I'm fat - give it to me straight, Doc! They give you your current weight (in my case, 247) and then they give you your "ideal weight" (for me, 135-145). So, as it applies to me, "considerable" means about 100 lbs. 100 POUNDS?!! Holy crap! When did I pack on that much weight? Lets see...was it during my first marriage? Yeah, I can account for about 40 lbs during that 10 years. How about not losing the weight after the kids? Yep - I gained 30 lbs. with Tyler and actually came out of being pregnant with Mac, lighter than I went in, so that doesn't apply. So, that is a total of 70 lbs. What about the other 30? Probably my divorce. After all, I'm an emotional eater. I eat when I'm depressed, I eat when I'm angry, I eat when I'm excited, and I eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm in a box, and I eat when I'm with a fox....Oops! Carried away on the Dr. Seuss. Well, it didn't come on overnight and as much as I would like it to, it won't go away that fast either, but I will work on it. I took my first step today.

If I counted up all of my "first steps" over the past few years, I bet I could have walked all the way to Timbuktu and back and would have already lost my 100 lbs! Today, I packed my gym bag and headed there after work. I climbed on the bike - it seemed to be the most benign of most of the machines there, and has been my friend in the past. I plugged my headphones into the CardioVision (Yes, TVs attached to each machine!!), turned on the movie "Sweet Home Alabama," and started to pedal. Uphill, downhill, faster, slower. The heart rate monitor recording that my heart is still beating and that I am not suffering from cardiac arrest - yet. My breathing deepens as the intensity of my pedalling increases. Sweat pouring off my forehead, my elbows, running down my back (Damn...I need a shower now!). I will NOT wear shorts right now, so I have sweat pants on - hence the profuse sweating. I look around and there are others there too. Skinny-minis in their cute little outfits, walking on the treadmills and chatting. WHATEVER! Get moving you little.....!
At the end of the faux-bike ride, 50 crunches on a stability ball while holding a 10 lb. weight to my chest, and then stretching. This violent attempt at getting my fat butt in shape took 40 minutes. Not too bad. The endorphins are kicking in full blast now and I'm feeling pretty good about my effort. If only I can do this every day!! I have to do this every day!! I CANNOT let the scale's numbers go up anymore! I am too young to be like this!!

I am asking you, my rabid readers, to assist me in this journey. Those of you I see regularly, if you see me putting something in my mouth that is any color other than that of a vegetable or fruit - yank it away and scold me intensely!! Those who don't see me often, words of encouragement go a long long way. I heard somewhere that if you tell people that you are changing your lifestyle (I hate the term "dieting"), then it is easier to stick to it. After all, you don't want the humiliation of failure staring you in the face!!

Right now I feel pretty good. The happy emotion...
...where is my BEN and JERRY'S!! (just kidding - carrots anyone?)