Bigger Than the Sky

Dear Tyler,

You have really been on my mind today. I met with your school counselors from both middle and high school today. This was just so that your new high school counselor could meet me, and of course, to let her know somethings about you. She is anxious to meet you and is excited about you coming to her school in the fall.
We talked about your creativity, your passion, and your charm. When I think of those traits in you, I feel warm and happy; I guess you could say these are the things I cherish most in you. We talked about your ADHD and how it affects your perception of school, your teachers, and your homework. She so wants to work with you next year to make sure that your 9th grade year is successful and to help you get on the right track.
In the course of our meeting, your current counselor asked how things have been at home. I told her that we have had our challenges lately and that you seemed more withdrawn and sad/angry than usual. I mentioned to her that you don't seem to be hanging around with the usual kids anymore and that your new interest is in skating. I have to tell you, Tyler, her eyes got as big as saucers and she just said, "No, no, no!" When I questioned her, she told me that the worst thing for a kid like you with so much potential is to get involved with the skating crowd. She told me that there is so much substance abuse in that group and that the kids involved in that particular pastime can do nothing but hurt you. I have to admit, that I was pretty freaked out. I have known her a long long time and it takes A LOT to make her flip out like that. She also said that she has noticed a change in you...and recently. We talked about your medication and we can't help but think that the change in your meds could be affecting your personality (and not in a good way). It was suggested that I get hold of Dr. E or Darcy to see about a change, or even evaluate you for depression since it can go hand in hand with ADHD. She also suggested that you start seeing Dr. Martino again. Funny - you mentioned that to me a few days ago.
Please know that none of this conversation was to talk about you "behind your back." We were simply getting together to find out what Mrs. H can do for you in high school to ensure that you get exactly the attention you need. You are going to have the biggest part in that by making sure that I know, and Mrs. H knows and that your teachers know if you feel you aren't getting what you need. Situations can't be improved if we don't know what is wrong.
In the meantime, we are going to take it one step at a time. First, I'll call Darcy to talk to her about further treatment for you medically; Then, I'll schedule an appointment for you/us w/Dr. Martino; and I'm going to learn all I can about this thing that you live with everyday - this ADHD that makes you you. Lastly, I'm promise to be there for you every step of the way. I want you to talk to me. I want you to feel like you can trust me. I am going to set some real limits for you as lately there really haven't been many. You are going to think that I am the most nosy, mean, and unfair parent on the face of the planet and that is ok because by the time fall comes and you go off to high school you are going to know exactly why I have done the things I have and you are going to be a better person for it. You and I are going to be stuck like glue this summer.

I can't wait :-)

Tyler this is between you and me. Larry and Mac need not know. Yes, I'm sure that they will be involved in the counseling process because it is important for them to be a part of helping you, but mostly, this is going to be about building our relationship.

Please trust me. Trust GOD. Trust that you do not have all the answers and that you do not always know what is best for you. Someday you will have to do these things for YOUR children and you will remember back to when you thought I was mean and strict, and in your face. Then you will smile, you will pick up the phone from wherever you are and you'll call me. You will say, "Mom, I just called to say 'thank you,' thank you for being tough on me, thank you for being there for me, and thank you for giving me the tools to be a parent that can help my child."

I love you, Ty Man. Always and Forever, Unconditionally, Neverending, and Bigger Than the Sky.

Mom.